The Bad Mood Salad (Arugula Salad with Parmagiano and Lemon Zest)

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;
“But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart.”

-In the Desert (Stephen Crane)

It's a simple salad.  Three ingredients the way I make it.  Fresh arugula -- and these are so baby crisp, so darkly green and tender, plucked from the farm only last Saturday.  A good aged Parmiagiano, a hardy, hearty block slightly oily in my hands, its scent familiar and comforting if not as mephitic as I normally like my cheeses; and a simple little lemon, bright canary yellow, firm and plump.  Toss the arugula with the zest and juice of half a lemon.  Shave Parmagiano on top.

The arugula is peppery.  The cheese is tangy, hard to cut through, with little give.  The lemon zest and juice are tart and acidic.

This is a Bad Mood Salad.  Chew.  It's bitter.  Chew chew chew.  Sharp and wince inducing.  Chew and swallow.  It prolongs and teases out the things that enrage you, fills you with a sense of futility, makes you ponder, "What's the point?!"

Bitterness.  Taste.  Figuratively or literally?

A family friend recounts the night he realized that he and his fifth column had failed in an attempt to overthrow a corrupt and unstable government; and realizing he was alone at the rendezvous point, he recounts:  "All I could taste was that bitterness throughout my mouth."  And then from outside the safehouse, the stentorian tones of the men who had come to arrest him telling him that he was alone and that his friends had not come.  "Bitterness."

"I feel so bitter," says a friend after the throes of a marital spat, her voice catching.  "Why can't he understand what I want?"

Oh.  We've all felt that sting before. 

Her husband (and other husbands like him) probably wonders what it is she actually wants; the answer is not always clear in the laundry list of complaints and criteria that are hurled at him (them) when the internal hot springs of frustration and anguish finally boil over and overflow.  The answer, in all its variants, comes down to this one simple requirement: 

We yearn to be the sun in your Copernican universe. 

Knowing we are loved is not the same as feeling we are loved.  If you can set aside the Ptolemaic principle in which you are the Earth, we can give you a warm sun around which to revolve.  It's much more pleasant than a blazing, blistering satellite intent on burning you to a crisp.

Bitterness is tasted in the back of the tongue.  Is this why you swallow bitterness?

Every night I cut out my heart.
But in the morning it was full again.

-The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)

Sometimes I get fancy and melt the Parmagiano to make a cheese crisp.  Then I'll find some bacon and throw that in.  And by that point, I'm not really in a bad mood any more. 

Comments

[Kalyn]

Yum. That's all I can say about this. I love sharp, strong flavors together. This sounds perfect.

[barbara]

I wish I could pick my own Arugula. I've bought it twice this week and it has been disappointing both times.

[Geneve]

I love the name of your salad! ;)
I make a similar salad and sometimes add a touch of honey to offset some of the bitterness.

[Kate]

There is a book called 'Because it is bitter, and because it is my heart' and I could never imagine where the title came from.....now I know. Thanks for the enlightenment!

[Don]

This salad looks delicious. The bitter sweet descriptiveness - a bad mood salad indeed! The parmagiano is always an excellent touch.

[Cath]

Kalyn - probably one of my favorite salads of all time. Very sharp and strong. Enjoy!

Barbara -- happily we had a farmer's market not too long ago and the local farmers had beautiful baby arugula.

Geneve -- oddly enough by the time I finish making it I'm never in a bad mood anymore. :-)

Kate -- happy to help out!

Don -- oh the cheese is the best; its tanginess is a nice offset to the bitterness.

[Lauren]

I love it--food to match a mood. It looks lovely.

[ryan]

i just found this post, and i have to tell you that i love your writing...and that i have been addicted to a similar version i adapted from barefoot contessa just recently...if only i had been reading your blog sooner i would have been enjoying this for much longer!!!