Special Brownies.

Hubby and I were in the car last week and listening to the radio; there was a news item about a Dearborn, Michigan police officer who confiscated marijuana and failed to turn it in; he took it home and he and his wife baked pot brownies. While stoned, they called 911 in paranoic fear that they were dying. The transcript as follows:

Edward Sanchez:  I think I’m having an overdose and so is my wife.
911: Overdose of what?
Sanchez: Marijuana… We made brownies and I think we’re dead. I really do… Time is going by really, really, really slow…

Then:

Sanchez: What’s the score in the Red Wings game?
911: I’ve got no clue, I don’t watch the Red Wings.
Sanchez: I just wanted to make sure this isn’t some kind of hallucination I’m having.

I don't know about you, but I find this utterly hilarious.  Time goes slow when you're stoned?  Say it isn't so.

When we were first dating, Hubby and I used to spend our winter holidays in Santa Monica, four blocks from the ocean.  During one such vacation, I went on a fridge raid at our friend's house and found a pan of brownies.  Score!  As you know, I'm deeply fond of brownies and of dense chocolate cakes.  As I reached for one of those delectable squares, a thought suddenly occurred to me.  I padded my way from the kitchen to the bottom of the stairs of L.'s house.

"L.!" I yelled up to my friend.  "Are those brownies in the fridge or are those brooooooooooooooownies?"

"They're brooooooooooooooooownies," she called from her office.

Sigh.  Instead of eating, I got to write a sign which I posted to the fridge:  EMIL DO NOT EAT THESE BROWNIES. YOU WILL PISS HOT.  (Hubby's job required random drug testing).  L. later told me that the brownies were a gift from her boss, who -- at the time -- was 72 years old.  Yes, you read that right.  A septuagenarian made her pot brownies.

Of course, the most famous recipe for pot brownies is attributed to a woman who was in her seventies when her cookbook was published in 1954.  The Alice B. Toklas Cook Book, written by Gertrude Stein's lover, includes a recipe for "Haschich Fudge."  The cookbook was meant to be a memoir of her life with Stein and not necessarily a cook book --but apparently this recipe was planted by her friend Brion Gysin as a joke.  It was not until the book was published that the recipe was discovered --and while it was printed in the British edition, it was removed from the American edition.

I'm hopelessly sheltered about certain things.  I once watched a man roll a joint and did not realize what he was doing. Instead, I debated the merits of the interior decorating magazine which he was using as a platform, noting that I preferred "The World of Interiors" when one of my friends, realizing my absolute cluelessness remarked, "For rolling a joint?!"

But still, when I think about pot brownies, I wonder to myself - how do you make them?  From scratch?  With a mix?  Just think:  taste and experience could be completely affected by the type of butter you use, the mix you buy (is Duncan Hines better than Betty Crocker?), the chocolate -- I mean for heaven's sake, there's a whole range of chocolate to consider -- 70% cacao?  Scharffen Berger?  Valrhona?  And then of course, the pot itself!  What kind?  Are there different kinds?  And from where?  Do varietals matter?  Do you need single source marijuana to make a really good gourmet pot brownie?  And if you make it from scratch, would you use organic flour and ingredients?  I mean, it makes me delirious, sitting here and contemplating the creation of a gourmet pot brownie.  I'm sure this delirium doesn't even come close to how I'd feel eating one (no thanks) but the possibilities are endless! 

Why the hell am I even thinking about this?

I wonder what recipe Officer Sanchez and his wife used?

And if you know, please God, do not tell me.  I prefer to enjoy speculatively, not literally.

No for God's sake I don't have a recipe for pot brownies.

Comments

[Kelly]

Ha! I've tasted special brownies, and I personally don't see the appeal. Just the chocolate for me, please!

[Ivonne]

Cath,

This was absolutely hilarious!

[cath]

Kelly, you'd think there was enough of a high in chocolate, yes?

Ivonne, I'm still cracking up about the police officer calling 911 and telling them he thinks he's dying from pot brownies.

[barbara]

I've got the Alice B Toklas book with the recipe in. I've never made them but I confess I have eaten them in my hippy years.

[s'kat]

I heard the audio of that sometime last week.... utter, utter hilarity!!

BTW, I've made pot brownies back in the day. It's what gave me the idea to add rosemary to brownies. The flavour just works really, really well with chocolate.

And of course, rosemary is much simpler to attain than pot!

[Brad]

I was at a comfy, quiet party last weekend, when a guy in his 70s pulled out his wallet, withdrew a joint, lit it, and passed it to anyone who wanted a toke. He said he was in his 40s before he ever tried pot. "You gotta understand, when I was young, it wasn't so readily available," he said.

Looked like he made up for lost time, though.

[cath]

Barbara can you email me that recipe? I wouldn't even know where to get the main ingredient but I'd love to see the actual recipe! :-)

S'kat -- oh man, I still laugh hearing that audio. Rosemary huh? Well it's still an herb so I guess that does meet the requirement for the main ingredient!

BRAD! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IN COLUMBUS? HAHAHHAHAHAHHA

[bron]

Oh this is classic! I've never had pot, but more sadly I can count the times I've had / made brownies on one hand!

[cath]

Bron -- well that's definitely more than me... LOL.