The Thing about Thin Mints

Some days, I find it expedient not to tell Hubby certain things, like, say for instance, how little I like his cat with each successive accident.  Other days, I find myself in confessional, pouring out my transgressions and seeking absolution.  Such was the case last week when an overwhelming attack of the munchies overcame me and I started to ransack Mom's pantry looking for Thin Mints.  Bad sign.  Why bad sign (apart from the fact that Mom would never buy boxed cookies)?

Let’s first start by noting that I love Thin Mints and have since I was a kid.  Then we’ll move on to how all the Girl Scouts in our neighborhood have targeted our house as a Sure Thing – even if I have already bought Thin Mints from another Girl Scout!  Add to that work colleagues who know about my weakness and pimp cookies for their daughters.  And then throw Greg into the mix and how he introduced me to frozen Thin Mints.

The result is that shortly after the birth of my son, which coincided with Thin Mint season, my house became a depository for twelve boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies.   I was delighted as I opened my case, congratulating myself for having the good sense to save up on Thin Mints for the lean months when there are no Girl Scout cookies.  There were enough cookies to last me through next season, I was sure.

At first, I did my usual consume-a-thon where I ate an entire box with some help from the family who had gathered to admire  new baby Puggle.  Nothing unusual.  Until I took a bite of my first frozen Thin Mint cookie.  Then all bets were off.  I was hooked.  I had never ever had anything so good.  I began eating two sleeves a day.  I depleted my store of Thin Mints.  In rather appalling fashion, I ordered more from the Cookie Pimps. Then I accosted Girl Scouts at the local grocery store, buying up their Thin Mint supplies. 

I knew I had a problem when I began stashing boxes throughout my house, ostensibly to keep anyone else from eating them (and really, NO one has eating them anyway because I was consuming them so fast).  Then came the furtive deception of keeping two sleeves in the freezer -- one that was opened and half eaten, the other a completely new sleeve.  Or so it appeared.  In actuality, it was a new sleeve every day, replacing the sleeves I was wolfing down at breakneck speed.  Within 9 weeks, I had consumed -- thirty-three boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  Yes.  Thirty-three boxes.  33.  Which means I ate sixty-six (66) sleeves of cookies.

Fast forward to confessional:

Me:  Okay, so you know how we were at Uncle Jay's house last week?

Hubby:  Yes.

Me:  There were Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies in his kitchen.

Hubby:  Yes.

Me:  I almost filched them.

Hubby:  Okay.

Me:  No, you don't understand.  I am a recovering Thin Mint-aholic.

Hubby:  O-kay.

Me:  No, you really don't understand.  I ate 33 boxes during the months when I was on maternity leave.

(dumbfounded pause)

Hubby:  Thirty three boxes?

Me:  Well, thirty four boxes actually, I think.  Kellie gave me a box at work when I went back to work for a week.

Hubby:  Thirty three boxes?  How many calories are IN a box?!

Me:  Thirty four.  140 calories per 4 cookies. 7 grams of fat.  Approximately 63 grams of fat per box.

Hubby:  YOU ATE FOUR AND A HALF POUNDS OF FAT?!

Me:  Wow, you calculate really fast.

Hubby:  Four and a half pounds of fat.

Me:  Thank God for breastfeeding. 

(I actually weigh less now than before I got pregnant).

But now I've gone and found this gorgeous recipe on Heidi's site (it's also in her new book,).

to be continued...

Comments

[Tea]

Ha, ha!

I could easily be a Thin Mint-aholic. My solution: never, ever buy them. I simply cannot have them in my house or they will be GONE. But I gobble them up with some indecency whenever they are offered to me. It would be bad to find out what might happen if we were left in a room alone together...

[Tanna]

Oh for pity sake, that man needs to slow down his calculator. That's worse than asking how old a lady is!
Cath are you recovering?
Odd isn't it, I could have a freezer and pantry full of those and you and Tea could have them all. I just have never found chocolate and mint to my even mildest liking.

[breadchick]

In a pinch and if you don't have time to make Heidi's wonderful recipe, the Grasshopper Keebler Fudge cookies are darn close to the thin mint when frozen (not even close when not).

[s'kat]

I'm the same way: simply can't be trusted around the damned things. I stopped buying them a few years ago, out of some similar sense of self-preservation.

[Stephanie]

Hee. I can do that with home-made peanut butter cups. Which is why I try so *very* hard not to make them!

And yes; you DO look fabulous post-baby, damn you.

[beastmomma]

Whoa-- that is intense and funny. Last night, I had the worst pizza craving. I ordered pizza and finished almost all of it in one sitting. The slippery slope of cravings is amazing.

[cath]

Tea, we would suck all the oxygen out of the room as we Hoover vacuum up the Thin Mints. This, I know.

Tanna...well, recovery is hard. It's a day by day sort of thing. It's a good thing we're out of Thin Mint season. On the other hand, my pantry is now stocked with what I need for Heidi's recipe...

Oh Mary! Mary! I've had Keebler's knockoffs -- no where close, no where close! It was so disheartening!

S'kat -- I just have no choice. Thin Mints come once a year and every year all my resolutions blow to bits when the cute girls in my neighborhood come by!

Steph -- babe, the weight loss is also due to the psychotic trainer who was coming every other day and bending me in pretzel shapes. Oh yeah, and not sleeping for 29 days has some interesting but not particularly desirable side effects for weight loss.

Jaspreet -- I fall over the Cliffs of Cravings all the time. It's terrible.

[shannon mclinden]

This absolutely made my day! The funniest confessional I've ever heard or read. Though Thin Mints don't buckle my knees, there is a particular frosting-covered sugar cookie at our local grocer that my husband and I refer to as "The Heroin Cookie." Once in our house, my dog will sit under the counter, looking up longingly until sundown. I'm permanently linking to your delightful entry so all our visitors can enjoy a tremendously great read!

[Bonnie]

hahah this is great!!! I LOVE Thin Mints in the freezer, it is scary how fast they disappear!!!! I feel guilty not buying the delicious cookies when cookie season rolls around, and then I feel guilty after eating the whole box!